It's the end of the world as we know it...

On any given day of the week you can frequently find me browsing the forums at Diabetes Daily. I am a relatively active member, posting multiple times a day. I really enjoy the social interaction, as well as the emotional support the members give one another. Sure, there are the occasional debates that can get a bit heated, but all in all, it's great fun, and educational to boot. Some posts are very thought provoking (wow, that's really deep man!) and stay with me for a while once I've read them. Sometimes, it is my own replies to these posts that remain in my head for some time, and the more I think about them, the more I think about them.

One such post has been on my mind since yesterday. The thread I wrote it in was a bit sad in tone, and I heard within it, echoes of pain that the O.P. has carried inside her, for a long time. It got me thinking. Yes, I know, a LOT of things get me thinking, maybe thinking too much.

In the course of my reply, I stated "all children should be carefree, innocent, and unencumbered by chronic illness".

Later in the day I wondered to myself, why is "carefree" a word I seem to only associate with children? Why not me? Why can't I be carefree?

carefree - free of trouble and worry and care; "the carefree joys of childhood"; "carefree millionaires, untroubled financially"

Oh, there it is... right there in the dictionary, it IS pretty much for children only. Apparently, adults are not expected to be "carefree". Unless of course, you are filthy rich! We are burdened with the responsibility of children, family, careers, rent, credit card payments, utility bills, and the list just goes on and on, and never ends. If for some reason (such as childhood diabetes) you missed out on a "carefree" childhood, you really missed the boat, because, quite frankly, you're not likley to grow up to be "carefree".

innocent - Not experienced or worldly; naive. Not exposed to or familiar with something specified. Uncorrupted by evil, malice, or wrongdoing: an innocent child.

Oh, there it is again. Innocence is associated with childhood. As adults, we are fully aware of the dangers that the world, and life itself, can hold for us. We are worldly. We have experienced pain, corruption, broken hearts, casual lies, people who have used us, or worse even, abused us. Many of us have become jaded, and cynical, and are no longer anything near to innocent. I think though that most of us can still remember innocence and how it felt like to look at the world with wide eyed wonder, still believing that everything, and everyone in it was good. I remember being young and still thinking that words like "It will get better",  "The only way to go is up" and "Time heals all wounds", were the Gods honest truth! Now I know that despite how much I'd like to believe in those platitudes, they are not always true. But, I was blessed to be innocent once, I was happy, healthy, and loved. What if you wern't in your childhood though? At the risk of sounding rude, sucks to be you! Innocence is NOT something you will aquire as you age, so, once again, you really missed the boat!

unencumbered by chronic illness - 
unencumbered - not burdened with difficulties or responsibilities, free of encumbrance
chronic illness - a persistent and lasting medical condition

My original statement included that children should live unencumbered by chronic illness, and, in a perfect world they would. How sad that children are robbed of their carefree lives and innocence via chronic illness, very sad indeed. It's not like anyone can turn back the clock and regain those aspects of their lives, once they're gone, they're gone, as pointed out earlier, those ships have sailed!

Diabetes robs all involved with it of every last stitch of our "carefree" lives. We, as diabetics, must test and test and test. We have to eat on schedules, count our carbs,  and do complex insulin calculations. Our lives are painted by numbers. We are in NO WAY carefree.

Our innocence is long gone, we as diabetics know all too well the potentially possible, if not impending complications and damage that can/will eventually occur to our bodies. We do not blindly follow our doctors orders, but actively (and pro-actively) take part in our daily management and care.

We can no longer live our lives unencumbered, we must prepare for every minute of every day (and night), as well as every diabetic emergency that may occur. We keep all our diabetic accoutrements close at hand, on our night stands, in our purses and briefcases, in our cars, our work places, and just about everywhere we frequent. Oh yes, we diabetics are definitely encumbered!

Despite what seems on the outside to be so many losses, and so much work, I have found a vein of strength runs through the diabetic community. We may, as a whole, share a suffering of health problems, emotional setbacks, and yes, at times, even denial, but, more importantly, we freely share advice, emotional support, we celebrate each others joys and triumphs, have a deep appreciation for every day, and a special gratitude for life.

Thank you to Missitaly for inspiring this blog with your thought provoking thread post.

Now go listen to some good music!